The IWFC Pt. 07

July 10th, 2024

2:00 AM

Team Hotel

—

After the team’s close victory against Great Britain, the girls enjoyed a long night out of celebration on the Las Vegas Strip, full of eating world class food, drinking the most expensive alcoholic beverages you could imagine, and of course, gambling. Still plastered after their eventful night, they all went back to Serafina and Jimenez’s shared hotel room.

“Yo Em! (Buuuurrrrrp!) pour me another shot of that Patron!” Said Serafina, as she belched and slurred her words.

“Alright… alright…I’m coooomin! Just let me have another siiiip of this boooootttle real quuuiiiiick!” Said Diaz as she wrapped her lips around a large Don Julio bottle.

“Hurry uuuuupp! My body needs Patron! Like right now or Ima fucking… explode and fucking… diiiieee!” Said Serafina

Thunderhawk held up her shit glass high. “Pour me some more tooooo!” She slurred.

“Hey guys, where’s Johnson?” Asked Jimenez.

“She’s back at our room, sleeping like a baby, haha!” Laughed Giordano “I mean, she barely drank tonight! What a lightweight am I right?”

“Ok!” Said Diaz. “Here comes your guys sho-“

(CRASH!)

As Diaz walked to the other side of the room to pour them shots, she dropped the bottle of Patron, the tequila bottle leaking all over the floor. “(Gaaaasssp!) oh shit! My bad! Heh heh… I like… did NOT mean to do that! I’m such a klutz!”

Serafina fell to her knees. “My Patrooooooon! It’s goooone because of yoooouuu, Ember! Whyyyyy!” She cried.

“Duuude I’m (wheeeeze) I’m sorry! I’m sorryyyy! I didn’t mean it bro I swear!” Said Diaz, trying hard to contain her laughter.

“Oh my god dude you’re like soooo drunk right now, Em!” Wailed Jimenez. “How many sips of fucking tequila did you have out that big ass bottle?”

“Uhhh… how much sips is a quarter of a… (buuuurrrrp!) oops! Excuse me! Hahahahaha!” Said Diaz covering her mouth as she laughed even harder.

“Ewww you’re so wasted duuude!” Said Jimenez.

Tears welles up in Serafina’s eyes. “My Patrooon! It’s really gooone! (sniffles) …Just like how Demarcus is gooone! Why does everything I love always have to leave meeee!!” Serafina said, as she began sobbing.

Jimenez quickly ran over to console her. “Hey, hey, hey, come hereeee! Girl, you don’t need him! You are SO beautiful and you deserve better!”

“(Sniff) b-but I-I loooved h-h-hiiim!” Serafina wimpered.

Thunderhawk also walked over to comfort Serafina. “He showed his true colors! You don’t need people like that in your life!”

“B-b-but he was sooo damn fiiiiine! His perfect 360 waves, his goatee, (sniffles) his tattoos, his muscles! (Sniff) I just want to fuck him one more t-tiiime!”

“Look, there are plenty more fish in the sea! You’re so fucking pretty! I wish I could have your body, personality, and aura! You are ethereal, and men should treat you like the goddess that you are!” Said Thunderhawk.

“DEMAAARCUUUUS!!!” Bawled Serafina. “I WANT HIM BACK SO BAAAAD!!! HE WAS MY ONE TRUE LOOOOVE!!!”

“It’ll be ok ‘Fina! I feel your pain!” said Thunderhawk.

“Jesus waterworks, we get it. You lost your little human dildo. Newsflash, we have a fucking fart championship to win in a couple days! Now can we focus on that?” Said Giordano.

“Beckyyy! She’s going through emotional distress! We have to be there for her in her times of need! We’re a team, after all!” Said Thunderhawk, as she caressed Serafina’s back.

“Yeah, we all know you don’t have a soul but can you at least try to show some empathy, Becky?” Said Jimenez.

“Heyyy Finaaaa…! I know w-what could ch-cheer you uppp!” Giggled Diaz, stumbling on her words.

“I don’t careee, Em!” Whined Serafina.

“Hnnnng! Hold on, I got something for youuu!” Said Diaz, Lifting up her right leg. “it’s riiiigggght…”

Prrrrrrttt!

“…there! Heh heh heh!” Laughed Diaz as she stuck her tongue out.

“(smacks lips) Ha-ha-ha. You’re such a comedian. Ughh.” Jimenez groaned as she rolled her eyes. “I swear bro you can never handle your alcohol!”

“Wait! I got another one! Hnnnng!” Said Diaz as she pushed hard.

Peeeeeerrrrrriiiip!

“Hahahaaaaa! Ooooops!”

“Fuck, you’re telling me I gotta deal with this chucklefuck for the rest of the night? Ugggghh!” Groaned Giordano. “(Sigh) Hey, bitch! Gimmie that Don Julio! I need a fuckin drink!”

“Riiiight awayyy, Jose! Let’s all get fuuuuucccked up! WOOHOOoooOOoo! Girls for life, am I riii-“

“Just hand me the damn bottle ya fuckin dope!” Yelled Giordano.

“Ooookkaaayyy lemme just shimmy my little self all on over too y-“

(CRASH!)

As she walked over to Giordano, Diaz once again dropped another bottle of alcohol, it shattering into pieces and leaking all over the floor.

“(Gaaaasp!) YOU. FUCKING. IDIOT!” Screamed Giordano.

“NOOOOO! Not the Don Juliooooo!!” Wailed Serafina, as she began to cry again. “WHY CAN’T THE WORLD LET ME ENJOY ANYTHIIIIING!!”

“Uhhh… bursa escort oopsie-poopsie! Heheheheee!” giggled Diaz

“You goddamn smooth-brained imbecile! I paid ONE HUNDRED AND FUCKING FORTY dollars for that bottle! ONE HUNDRED FORTY!” Screamed Giordano.

“I’m such a kluuuutz bro! I can’t help iiiiiit! Hahaha!” Laughed Diaz, nervously.

Prrrrrrrrrrtttt!

“uhhh heh heh! I’m… sorry… I can’t help but fart when I get nervous… haha!” Chuckled Diaz, as she fanned her ass.

Frrrrrrrriiiippt!

“Uhhh… hahaha! That Filet Mignon and Brussel Sprouts I had at the steakhouse earlier is reaaaally doing a number on meee!”

“Are you serious right now? ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS RIGHT NOW? You’re gonna sit here, break my bottle, laugh, and proceed to fucking fart like nothing happened?” Said Giordano. “I’M GONNA KILL YOU BITCH!!! AHHHHHH!!!” Cried Giordano. She then picked up a shard of broken glass off the floor and ran towards Diaz.

Thunderhawk quickly ran to protect Diaz from Giordano’s wrath, stepping in front of Diaz and outstretching her arms to shield her. “Becky, Becky! Stop!”

“Thunder, will you kindly move out of the way? I am going to fucking brutally murder Ember now, and I do not want to be charged with double homicide in the state of Nevada. Got that?”

“Look, Becky, 140 isn’t even that much money… uh… when you think about it! I mean, didn’t you win big on craps tonight? Like a thousand dollars?” Said Thunderhawk.

“Yeah but that dumb fuck standing behind you should know not to fuck with any amount MY money! I got mob ties, y’know that, Ember? MOB TIES!”

“This whole team is falling apaaaarrrt! Just like my love liiiife!” Bawled Serafina.

“All I’m saying Becky is that you have a lot more money left! Like 860 dollars to be exact! So why not just be happy with that?”

“860 dollars isn’t enough! 860 dollars is-” Giordano suddenly stopped talking and took a step back, putting down the glass shard “heh, I think I just got an idea…”

“What?” Asked Thunderhawk.

“Well… since that ugly, dumb, clumsy, worthless piece of shit loves wasting my money and farting so much… why not give her the opportunity to redeem herself?” Said Giordano, as an evil smile grew on her face. “Ember, I challenge you…

…to a FART-OFF!!!”

“(Gasp!) Like that girl on Team Mexico who challenged Thunder to a fart duel? Nooooo I don’t wannaaa!” Said Diaz, as she turned her back and headed towards the door.

“Then what are ya, Ember Anderson-Diaz? Are ya…”

“…FARTLESS…?”

The room, after Giordano’s shocking remark, went pindrop silent. Jimenz, Thunderhawk, and Serafina looked at each other in disbelief after hearing such a vulgar and offensive word come out of their teammate’s mouth.

“(Gaaaasp!) you did not just call her that!” Said Thunderhawk.

“That’s the worst insult in the fart game, dog!” Said Jimenez.

“Yeah, even I don’t use the big F-bomb!” Said Serafina

Diaz stopped dead in her tracks, her sober self finally creeping back in. She slowly turned around, peering at Giordano “what… THE FUCK… did you just call me?”

“You heard me, Ember Anderson-Diaz! Are. You. FARTLESS?”

“Nobody… and I mean NOBODY… calls me fartless! You hear that Becky? NOBODY!” Yelled Diaz, with tears of rage welling up in her eyes. “Fine! I’ll do your stupid fart duel or fart-off or whatever the fuck!”

Giordano dropped the shard of glass back down to the floor. “You don’t have a fucking choice, you braindead whore! You’re doing this whether you fucking like it or not! And if you lose, ohhh boy!”

“Well then… w-what happens if I lose?” Asked Diaz, nervously.

“Let’s just say I’ll pay you and your family a visit back in Miami after the IWFC is over” said Giordano, menacingly rubbing her hands together.

“W-well… what happens i-if i win?”

Giordano’s menacing smile slowly went away. Her hands stopped rubbing together and went back down to her sides. She stared through Diaz, with a blank, cold expression.

“…you survive…”

—

“Alright, we both got 1 minute. Whoever farts the most in that minute, wins! Thunder will keep score!” Announced Giordano.

“What if I like… shit my pants? I’ve had a ton of alc tonight you know… haha!” Said Diaz.

“Oh we KNOW” said Jimenez.

“You better be careful, Becky. Em can fart a shit ton within a minute. I mean, the main reason she was even recruited to the team was because of the frequency of her farts!” Said Thunderhawk.

“I agree with her. I think you’re losing this, Becky.” Said Serafina.

“Pffff! Well fuck you guys too! It’s not like I won the New York City Fart Contest 5 times!” Said Giordano

“It was 4 times.” Replied Thunderhawk.

“Shut up Thunder!” Said Giordano.

“I don’t care who wins. I’m posting this on TikTok to all of my 600 thousand followers either way and there’s nothing bursa escort bayan y’all can do about it!” Said Jimenez, as she got her phone out to start filming.

“Well remember to tag me so my 2 million followers can see me stinking Ember out!” Said Giordano. “Now Thunder give us a countdown!”

“5… 4… 3… 2… 1… fart!”

“Hnnnnnnggg! Come on, fart now, ass!” Said Giordano, pushing hard.

FRRRRRAAAAPT!

“Huh? That wasn’t my ass!” Thought Giordano, as she looked to her side to see Diaz smiling.

ThhhhhhRRRRRIIMP!

“Can you at least give me a chance to rip one fuckface? Jesus!” Said Giordano, still trying to push one out.

“Haaaaaa! I thought this was supposed to be a contest, biiiitch!” Said Diaz, as she lifted up her leg to fart again.

Prrrrrrpplplplplplp!

Vviiiiiirrrrrrrriiiiimmmmmfffftt!

“You better keep up, Becky! Told you this wasn’t gonna be the cakewalk you thought it would!” Said Jimenez.

“Mmmmmmmphhh!”

FRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEMMMPTTT!

“Aw fuck yeah there we go!” Said Giordano patting her stomach.

VVVVVRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIPPP!

“Now we’re talkin’!” She said, as she leaned down to smell her fart. “(Sniiiif) Ohhhh shit! That one’s just straight ASS! Haha!”

“Ewww!” Said Diaz, as she shuffled a few feet away from Giordano. “Why do yours always have to smell so baaaad broooo?! (Bleeeech!) I think I’m gonna puke!”

“That’s because I’m a real farter, unlike you! Those little toots you call ‘farts’ won’t get us nowhere in the championship! What we need is gas with some FORCE behind it!”

FFFFFRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPT!

“Like that! (Sniiiiiiff) ohhh that one’s bad! Just straight rotting meat from the Tomahawk steak I had tonight at the steakhouse!”

“(Huuuuaaacccck!) I’m gonna puke, I’m gonna puuuke! Who knew a belly full of alcohol and the smell of rotting steak doesn’t mix!” Diaz said, as she violently gagged and covered her mouth.

BRRRRRRRRRRRRUUUUUUUUUUUMMMFFFF!

“(Snniiiiif) You smell that? That’s a grown woman fart right there! That’s a fuckin fart from a grown ass woman, you bitchmade diaper wearing little girl!” Said Giordano, as she fanned her ass towards Diaz.

“30 seconds left!” Said Thunderhawk

“You know what? Take this!” Said Diaz, turning her ass towards Giordano as she ripped a series of small poots.

Frrrrrrrriiiip!

Thhhhhhiiiirrrrreeeeiiimp!

Pfffffffffssssshhhllliiip!

Ssssssrrrrrrrrrrrfffffffrrrrrrrrriiiiiippp!”

“(Sniiiif) really? I can barely even smell those! C’mon, Em! Put your ass into it!”

THHHHHHHRRRRRRUUUUUMMMFFFTT!

“Smell that? Now that’s what you would call putting your ass into it! Now quit it with those baby farts and fart like a REAL WOMAN!!!”

BBBRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAPPPTPTPTPTPT!

“Ohhhh yeeeeeaaah! That one hurt my asshole coming out at the end! Hahaha! Laughed Giordano.

“Fina, who do think’s gonna win?” Asked Jimenez to Serafina.

“Girrrrl I don’t give a fuck who win! I’m just here for the drama!” Replied Serafina.

“Heh, me too.” Said Jimenez.

“15 seconds left!” Exclaimed Thunderhawk.

“Oh god, only 15 seconds? Shit!” Diaz thought in her mind. “Fuck, fuck, fuuuuck! What if I didn’t fart enough to win? Shit, that means Becky might try and kill me! Oh no!”

(Guuuurrrggle)

“Aw shit! My stomach!” Said Diaz as she grasped her abdomen. “Oh god, oh god, I’m so nervous! I think I’m gonna-“

FrrrrrrrrRRRRRRRUUUUUMMP!

“I… farted? Wait, I farted! That’s it! I always fart when I get nervous! That’s how I’ll win! I just gotta remain nervous so I-“

Viiiiiirrrrrrrrieeeeeepttptptpt!

“-Keep farting!” Thought Diaz “Quick! I gotta think of what makes me the most nervous! Uhhh… public speaking! Going to the dentist! Killer Clowns! Venomous snakes! Uhhh… Becky stabbing me to death!”

Plluuuuuurrrrrrpppttt!

“Yes, there we go!”

Prrrrrrrrtplplplplplp!

“Yeah!”

“MMMPH! Dammit I’m running outta gas! I should’ve ate more fucking vegetables tonight!” Thought Giordano, as she pushed out a small fart.

Eeeeeerrrrrriiiiip!

“What happened to your ‘grown woman farts’, Becky? Ahahahaha!” Laughed Serafina. “You cocky bitch!”

“Runnin outta gas there, huh fucker?” Said Jimenez.

“Sorry, but I don’t listen to women who weigh over 2 tons!” Shouted Giordano in an extremely angry tone.

“2 tons? Ouch…” said Jimenez.

“Jesus Becky! All we’ve ever done is shown you kindness!” Said Serafina.

“5… 4… 3… 2… 1… stop farting!” Exclaimed Thunderhawk, as she stopped her timer on her phone.

Giordano nonchalantly stretched her arm. “Alright, I’m assuming I won, Thunder?”

“Well, I actually counted 12 farts for Em, and only 7 for you, which means she’s the winner!”

“I won? I ACTUALLY WON?! HALLELUJAH!! GOD IS REAAAAL!!” Screamed Diaz as she threw her hands in the air.

“Alright escort bayan now, celebration time over. Time to pay up for breaking my bottle!” Said Giordano with her hand out.

“B-b-but I won!”

“I said if you won, you got to survive. I didn’t say you wouldn’t get out of payin me, miss butterfingers!”

“Fuuuuuuuccck!” Groaned Diaz.

—

5:30 AM

IWFC Stadium

—

The stadium where the competition was held was entirely empty and dark, only illuminated by some dim lights near the fart floor. Almost all games for both divisions had wrapped up the night before, with Team Japan vs Team Nigeria being the final game before the Championship, and Japan winning by a slim margin, only by a couple of points. Although the championship would not be played until 2 days later, Coach Narumi Iwasaki of team Japan, along with revered farter and multiple time Japanese fart champion Kiko Sugiyama practiced obsessively, perfecting farting techniques and going over game strategy.

PRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAPPT!

“Not good enough! Again!” Yelled Coach Iwasaki.

FRRRRRAAAAAAAAAMMMPPPTSSSS!

“Hold the fart for longer!”

FFFFRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrRRRRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrRRRRRRRRrrrrrrRRRRRRRRIIIIIIMMMP!

“Longer!”

FFFFRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrRRRRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrRRRRRRRRrrrrrrRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrRRRRRRRRRiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeMMMMMMMMPPPPHHH!!

“LOOOONGERRRR!”

BRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPTTTSSSSSSFFFFFFFFFFFRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrrRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrrrrRRRRRRRRRRRRRRrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEeeeeEEEEEEEeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeEEEEEEEEEeeeeeEEEEEEMMFTTTTTTSTSTSTFFLUUUUUURRRRRRPPPT!

“Adequate. You will bring great shame to your family name if you do not pass gas like that each time!”

“I apologize for my lack of gas, master. You may fart on my face as punishment. I do not deserve to breathe this planet’s oxygen for such amateur level farting.” Said Sugiyama, as she knelt down and closed her eyes.

“Very well. You must be reminded that you come from a great line of female farters, all of whom could fart at will, much like myself! You must learn the important lessons now, if you wish to live up to your ancestors and dominate this farting competition for years to come! Now shove your face in my ass!”

“Yes master.” Said Sugiyama, as she shoved her face into Coach Iwasaki’s soft, supple buttcheeks.

BRRRRRRIIIIIIIMMMMMFFFFTT!

“(Sniiiiif) yes master! I deserve to only smell your farts and nothing more!”

“For the time being, yes.”

GGWWWWWWAAAAUUUUULP!

“(Sniiiifff) ohhh yesss! The sweet smell of rotting fish is heaven to my olfactory system!”

“One more!”

RRRRRRRRRRRBBBBBBLLLLLTTTT!

“(Sniiiiiif) ahhhh. That one smelled a bit more shitty, master! Punish me more, please!”

“No. You have had enough!”

“Yes, you are right. I am sorry.” Said Sugiyama, rising up from her kneeling position.

“Your farts weren’t very long today, master. Well, not as long as mine at least. Why is that?”

“I… ummm… was taking it easy on you! Yeah… uh… I, um didn’t wanna kill my best player, y’know? You already know I can fart for 5 minutes straight, what more do I have to prove to you?”

“Well… I thought you could control your gas at will, and you could tap into, well, y’know…”

“Tap into what?”

“Tap into the Fart Force, like you said you could, without other gas producing substances!”

“Yeah, I, uh… totally fuckin can! Duh! I just… like to take it easy sometimes! Whoa whoa whoa, wait a second, this isn’t about me! This is your competition! We should be focusing on your farting only!”

“I’m afraid, master that I might be… out of gas this morning…”

“Out of gas? Already? Do you need more of… the elixir?”

“Oooh! Yes please!” Squealed Sugiyama, giddily.

“Well hold on, I just gotta text this random Canadian farter that I got it from. She’s got one of the secret ingredients to the elixir!”

“Master, do you think this ‘elixir’ you keep giving me will be enough to beat the Americans in the Championship?”

“Well, we will see on Friday for sure. But let me tell you, Sugiyama Kiko, I have a feeling that we’ll be a-ok!”

“And how is that?”

“Let’s just say that the Canadian farter I keep telling you about, that keeps giving us the secret ingredient to the elixir has got some ‘connections on the inside’ and will make sure we’ll be “taken care of” come the championship! Just know that she hates the Americans, and will do ANYTHING to stop them from winning this championship!”

“Master, what do you mean taken care of? Who will take care of us?”

“Hehehehe… all you have to know is that the judges will be extra nice to us this time around, more so than what they have been in prior years… and those Americans won’t even know!”

“(Gaaasp!) are you implying?”

“Yes!”

“Hahahahaha!” Laughed Sugiyama. “Championship trophy here we come!”

“Team Japan will once again be on top! We will bring the gassiest glory to the great nation of Japan!” Said Coach Iwasaki, raising her fist in the air.

“For Japan!”

“For Japan!”

END OF PART 7

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